GENRE: Sequal, Sci-Fi
CAST:Laurence Fishburne,Carrie-Anne Moss,Keanu Reeves
DIRECTED BY:The Wachowski Brothers
*READ* Note that this is a mock review, which means some things I write may have not really happened in the movie, I was just making fun of it. But for the most part my review is accurate and it's full of SPOILERS

   This is pretty much how the movie went...... Blah blah blah nothing nothing, Neo is in some white place trapped with an annoying little girl who can't act, and Keaneau can't act either so it was a very scary scene. Then Trinity and Jackie Chan, and Morpheus all break into this weird S & M goth club do some dancing, with guns, and then attack the french Canadian dude. All the while the scary chick beside french Canadian is getting off seeing everyone with a gun to their head. Oh before that there was this hobo claiming to be god... yeah well if he was god, don't you think he could afford to have a bath, a hair cut and dentist work? Just a thought... Anyways then Neo is like trying to escape and he looks like he is constipated and then the subway comes and a emotionless love struck Trinity comes out of the train. And they both don't even smile (Neo and Trinity do not smile frown or do much of anything the whole movie.... it's like one face.... I felt so empty inside watching them) WHERE IS THE LOVE?

   Oops there is no love..... according to the annoying little girls dad, was made a deal with the french Canadian guy to sell his daughter into child prostitution. Love is just a word humans made up. DUH! They write crap in this movie pretending they invented the philosophical meaning behind it. Anyways they come back from the non white room stuck forever Matrix. Well no, Neo talked to the Oracle, who is just a pawn in the cigarette companies scheme to make smoking look cool. Look that all powerful lady smokes, to be all powerful you MUST smoke! Neo looks like he is gonna have an asthma attack from the smoke, and the lady keeps sucking em back. She then tells him absolutely nothing. You will know what to do, that is what you must do. BAHHH. Ok then Neo comes back, but me must go away for like 5 hours to jerk off and figure out what to do. All the while everyone else is trying to figure out how to save Their precious city. Finally Neo comes out after cleaning the pipes, and says "I have to go commit suicide now, sorry screw you all" Morpheus's chick then says good and gives him her ship. And mono tone Trinity decides she wants to die too. So she goes. Oh before that though there is this man who has a cutting problem, and instead of helping and getting him therapy and help they accuse him of being weird. That is what is wrong with society today..... the poor guy is a cutter, get him help. But alias they did not and he went psycho and killed that lady.

   Neo and Trinity go off, but before they leave the cutter attacks trinity, I just wanted him to kill her cause she was getting on my nerves by then. But no, instead him and Neo get into a fight, and Neo gets blind and finds out the cutter is really Smith in human form. Oh and somewhere in there Smith goes and captures the annoying little girl and Jackie Chan, and the Smoking Oricle...... but he O_O OMG he ruined the COOKIES!!! I was pissed, she took alot of time to make those damn cookies. Anyways she smokes and smokes, there is the smoking again... made me want a smoke..... EVIL!!

   Anyways she became Smithy, ohhh, it was so beautiful two races coming together like that to make one.... of course the movie was racist and made them become a white person, not even mixed.

   Then there is like this huge war, people die, people scream, it's funny I laughed..... and wondered where the main characters of the movie were. Then the ship with all the people who save the day is like flying through some place, and this really annoying bald kid like steals this guys weird FF 6 robot thing, and breaks open some door. And then everyone is yelling and screaming, and who cares. They think they have saved the day but they did not. POOH. So then the elders are all like "What do we do?" and the guy is like "Go have sex"......... ok actually I said that.....

   Meanwhile Trinity and Neo somehow make it into the robot city... O_O How ........ and then they life fly around and then go up into the sky and suddenly it like OMG look the sun.... Black hole sun.....

   Then they fall back down and Neo is like ok time to die, and they crash into the side of a building. And then he is all I can't see cause I am blind, but i am like Jesus so I can see the light..... it reminded me of Holy from FF7. I laughed some more. Then it was the part I had been waiting for since the first Matrix, the Trinity Neo death scene. It was like watching two walls talk to eachother. I actually yawned during it. I duno if it was the drugs I was on, or what but I did not feel the slightest bit of sadness.. Maybe it was cause the two actors couldn't emit emotion even if someone were shoving ten foot poles up their asses..So she died... so what. Keaneau lets out a bored weird sound that could be mistaken for an orgasm.... I was not sure..... Anyways then Neo goes to the robots they are scared of him cause he is Jesus. Then the evil robot king talks to Neo.. and says let me copulate with you, you can stop Smith.... blah blah blah. So he like jacks into Neo, ahhh that turned me on. And then the robots stop attacking the dumb humans.... DAMN.

   So then Neo walks into the rain and finds a billion Smiths, haha, and then they have their Dragonball fight. I like yelled out Kamehameha like 3 times during the whole fight. The only weird thing with his hair all wet and stuff Neo looked all kinds of hot for a moment, I got turned on. Anyways they fight more and more and Dragonball, blahhh..... 2 minutes later which is really half an hour later in the movie. But then Neo and Smith have this mud wrestling part and it turned me on. Then Smith started going wacko, and finally Neo got all gay and let Smith fornicate with him and make Neo a smith, but then Suddenly the crazy smoking Oracle like blew up everyone, and she saved the day, when everyone thinks it Neo. Anyways he dies, I assume and the robots take his body. And then the robots leave, and the really annoying bald kid runs around screaming like braveheart "FREEDOM!!!" I kept telling the robots to just go back and kill him, for the love of god... could they just have killed that kid?

   Anyways the robots do this weird Neon Genesis Rei Big glowing hand ripoff with neo, and I scoffed. Then it shows the smoking lady again, and the little girl, and everyone is all like hahaha we suck..... and then I am bored and fall asleep and as the movie ends I hold my hands up and go WTF when is the movie gonna start?